21stCenturyFables.com - Be Aware!
Your Subtitle text
More 21stCenturyFables
(Author unknown)
to set YOU free!
by Roch Jimenez
(Roc He~men~ez)
1998-2008 copyright, Roch Jimenez. All Rights Reserved.
#
These eFables are all original and are for YOUR enlightenment and
entertainment. Some are 4 Sale, some are FR*E...
And, if YOU haven't already, please signup for YOUR Fr*e
eZine.
This way, YOU can be contacted when 'new' content is added,
eFables are finished, and when Contests & FeedBack are available at
ezine@21stCenturyFables.com.
As always, YOUR information is kept private. We will never sell, trade or barter YOUR
information.
YOU are welcome to to print and reprint any of the following eFables, providing YOU credit this
website with the following:
Printed and Reprinted from the supernatural/philosophical website http://www.21stCenturyFables.com.
Feel fr*e to surf over and be astonished. Be prepared to open up YOUR mind and soul...and reach for
the best of YOUR human potential!
#
YOUR 1st fr*e eFable comes with a WARNING: Extreme Foul Language.
YOU'll see why in a minute, I call it:
"Life Without Stupid, Worthless Pieces of Shit"
"If YOU could rid the world of all its stupid, worthless people with the push of
a button?
Would YOU...could YOU, do it?
Remember the incident with President Reagan about the Soviet Union
comment?
If not, don't worry. I'll explain in the story...
Now, consider this:
#
"YOU stuuupid motherfuuucker!"
"I HOPE YOU motherfucking DIE...YOU WORTHLESS PIECE of SHIT!!!"
"AND, I HOPE YOU DIE...NOW!"
With that, my anger dissipated. Catching my breath, I smiled...that sure felt
good!
#
The year is 2012...
Today's average American has dumbed down so much, that 87% of the people
only use 5% of their brain...
The stupidity of people is immense...
They are a danger to those of us who have, and use our brains...
If there was a button I could push to get rid of the 87%ers, I'd be one
pushing motherfucker!
#
My memory maybe faulty, but I seem to remember back in 1984, President
Ronald Reagan was joking around with his sound check to test the microphone
before his weekly fireside chat when he said something like this:
"My fellow Americans, I have before me a red button (imaginary), that when
pushed, will launch all our nuclear weapons.
I am pleased to tell you today, that I've signed legislation that will outlaw
Russia forever.
Simulating pressing his hand down on a button, looking dead-on into the camera
he said: We begin bombing in five minutes!"
Caused a big uproar, but damn...he sure made Americans feel good!
#
Anyway, I have to deal with shitheads everyday...
But today, I'm not gonna let some shit-for-brains, who's yapping on the cell
and cuts right in front of me, without using the blinker or even looking to see
if anyone was in the next lane, ruin my day!
Today is July 26, 2012, my 56th birthday...
The beer was iced, the beef, chicken and sausage had been marinating since
yesterday and I was picking up last minute items for my party, when the bitch
tried to kill me...
Just another day living with stupid, worthless human beings who don't deserve
to live and waste resources...
Well, Fuck them 4ever!!!
#
The party went off without a hitch...
After the families and kiddos had gone home, only four of us were left. We
drank, listened to classic rock and yoked & joked...
Around midnight, my friends wished me a personal Happy Birthday...
Talking on the Cell while Driving...
Not using YOUR blinkers...
Not looking around when YOU change lanes...
Running Red Lights...
Parking where YOU're not supposed...
Not following the arrows in parking lots...
Taking up 2 parking spaces...
Holding up traffic, just so YOUR lazy ass can park closer to the store...
Park YOUR oversize truck in 2 spaces or more & parking where YOU know
YOU're causing other people problems - ex: parking close to the store...
Forcing YOUR way into traffic instead of getting in the proper lane and waiting
like the rest...
Driving too SLOW, not keeping up with traffic...
And, when YOU same assfucks go the grocery store, YOU drive YOUR carts
the same way YOU do YOUR cars...
With NO regard to YOUR fellow being, YOU take up all the space in the
aisles, YOU park YOUR damn carts in the middle of the aisle, blocking
everyone's path!
Sound familiar...
These are reasons why I don't want to know YOU...
YOU're NOT important...YOUR just another worthless piece of shit that don't
deserve to live!!!
YOU're a selfish pig!
YOU care NOTHING about people around YOU!
YOU waste our resources...
YOU endanger mine and others lives, because YOU ARE STUPID!
YOU kill the world and our human potential!
And, YOU create worthless pieces of shit children!!!
It's best YOU never existed, or as I like to say: 'The best part of YOU, ran
down YOUR mamma's legs!'"
#
#
Beto (Bet~Tho) gave me a worry stone from the tomb of a High Priest, from
his last Mayan dig...
FYI: A worry stone is a medium-size stone that fits between the thumb and
forefinger and is rubbed when a person is anxious or praying.
Spanky handed me a spliff (Jamaican-style rolled marijuana cigarette) and a
coupla small mushroom buttons...
Hey, we're just older, not dead...
Donny gave me one of those $0.99 gag gifts - a red button with the word
Push (in white print) on it...
#
Well, needless to say - we guzzled more beer, ate the 'shrooms and smoked the illegal weed...oooohhhh, we're such bad people!
Get a life!
Anyway, as we mellowed...Donny said: "Make a wish and push the button!"
"You remember Reagan and the red button?"
"Yeah, 'bout the Russians?"
"Yep, and I would wish for all stupid, worthless pieces of shit in the world,
would just...go away.
They are not needed in our world or lives...
They are selfish, inconsiderate people who waste precious resources we
need, and endanger our lives!"
#
Donny: "Man, YOU're a cold motherfucker!"
"What? Like it's my fault people are stupid! Straight up, we're all evolved
people here. If any of us was stupid, do YOU think we would be friends?"
They all shook their heads (no)...
"And, if I or any of my friends or family disappeared, so be it...that just means
we're worthless shitheads that don't deserve to live...wouldn't YOU agree?"
Now, they nodded yes...
#
Spanky: "How many?"
"Eight billion people on earth...ohh, I'd say get rid of five, maybe six billion
people..."
"Just enough to keep civilization and the wheels progress turning. Maybe
start a new economic based on barter and work units."
Beto: "So, YOU've thought about this!"
"Oh, hell yeah!!!"
We all laughed, raised our cans, toasted each other and partyied hardy!
#
Somewhere around oh-dark-thirty, while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of
the Moon, I remembered the late futurist Alvin Toffler.
Author of 'Future Shock', wrote that any given time in history, about 90% of
humanity has their heads up their ass!
Seven-to-eight percent have their heads halfway out of their ass...
And, 2 - 3 percent breathe fresh air and know what the fuck is really going on!
I find this to be true!
Back in 2007 or so, a futurist whose name I forget, made a statement I'm
paraphrasing and agree with: "The planet could repair itself, if the human
population was 3/4's less, than what it is now...
He was ridiculed for telling the TRUTH!!!
I wish I could remember his name...
#
Then, I pushed the button...
#
If YOU're still here, reading this...then, YOU've been given a second chance!
Don't be a dumass, be kind to YOUR fellow being, do the right thing, all the
time, every time...no matter how much it hurts!
The powers that be, like that kinda stuff!
* * * * * * * *
So, what do YOU think?
Pls contact me at: roc411@21stCenturyFables.com and let me know YOUR
thoughts and opinions of this story.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOUR next fr*e eFable is a little more family-orientated:
I call it:
"Kissed By a Fairy - A True Story"
Back in the summer of 2004,
my nephew and I helped rescue an abused wife,
rescue a kidnapped infant baby and had the abusive husband and father
arrested, with the assistance of 911!
And, if that wasn't enough, I slipped into the in-between!
YOU know where I'm talking about...
The place adults say doesn't exist, but we know better, don't we?!
When I
YOU'll see why in a minute, I call it:
"Life Without Stupid, Worthless Pieces of Shit"
"If YOU could rid the world of all its stupid, worthless people with the push of
a button?
Would YOU...could YOU, do it?
Remember the incident with President Reagan about the Soviet Union
comment?
If not, don't worry. I'll explain in the story...
Now, consider this:
#
"YOU stuuupid motherfuuucker!"
"I HOPE YOU motherfucking DIE...YOU WORTHLESS PIECE of SHIT!!!"
"AND, I HOPE YOU DIE...NOW!"
With that, my anger dissipated. Catching my breath, I smiled...that sure felt
good!
#
The year is 2012...
Today's average American has dumbed down so much, that 87% of the people
only use 5% of their brain...
The stupidity of people is immense...
They are a danger to those of us who have, and use our brains...
If there was a button I could push to get rid of the 87%ers, I'd be one
pushing motherfucker!
#
My memory maybe faulty, but I seem to remember back in 1984, President
Ronald Reagan was joking around with his sound check to test the microphone
before his weekly fireside chat when he said something like this:
"My fellow Americans, I have before me a red button (imaginary), that when
pushed, will launch all our nuclear weapons.
I am pleased to tell you today, that I've signed legislation that will outlaw
Russia forever.
Simulating pressing his hand down on a button, looking dead-on into the camera
he said: We begin bombing in five minutes!"
Caused a big uproar, but damn...he sure made Americans feel good!
#
Anyway, I have to deal with shitheads everyday...
But today, I'm not gonna let some shit-for-brains, who's yapping on the cell
and cuts right in front of me, without using the blinker or even looking to see
if anyone was in the next lane, ruin my day!
Today is July 26, 2012, my 56th birthday...
The beer was iced, the beef, chicken and sausage had been marinating since
yesterday and I was picking up last minute items for my party, when the bitch
tried to kill me...
Just another day living with stupid, worthless human beings who don't deserve
to live and waste resources...
Well, Fuck them 4ever!!!
#
The party went off without a hitch...
After the families and kiddos had gone home, only four of us were left. We
drank, listened to classic rock and yoked & joked...
Around midnight, my friends wished me a personal Happy Birthday...
Talking on the Cell while Driving...
Not using YOUR blinkers...
Not looking around when YOU change lanes...
Running Red Lights...
Parking where YOU're not supposed...
Not following the arrows in parking lots...
Taking up 2 parking spaces...
Holding up traffic, just so YOUR lazy ass can park closer to the store...
Park YOUR oversize truck in 2 spaces or more & parking where YOU know
YOU're causing other people problems - ex: parking close to the store...
Forcing YOUR way into traffic instead of getting in the proper lane and waiting
like the rest...
Driving too SLOW, not keeping up with traffic...
And, when YOU same assfucks go the grocery store, YOU drive YOUR carts
the same way YOU do YOUR cars...
With NO regard to YOUR fellow being, YOU take up all the space in the
aisles, YOU park YOUR damn carts in the middle of the aisle, blocking
everyone's path!
Sound familiar...
These are reasons why I don't want to know YOU...
YOU're NOT important...YOUR just another worthless piece of shit that don't
deserve to live!!!
YOU're a selfish pig!
YOU care NOTHING about people around YOU!
YOU waste our resources...
YOU endanger mine and others lives, because YOU ARE STUPID!
YOU kill the world and our human potential!
And, YOU create worthless pieces of shit children!!!
It's best YOU never existed, or as I like to say: 'The best part of YOU, ran
down YOUR mamma's legs!'"
#
#
Beto (Bet~Tho) gave me a worry stone from the tomb of a High Priest, from
his last Mayan dig...
FYI: A worry stone is a medium-size stone that fits between the thumb and
forefinger and is rubbed when a person is anxious or praying.
Spanky handed me a spliff (Jamaican-style rolled marijuana cigarette) and a
coupla small mushroom buttons...
Hey, we're just older, not dead...
Donny gave me one of those $0.99 gag gifts - a red button with the word
Push (in white print) on it...
#
Well, needless to say - we guzzled more beer, ate the 'shrooms and smoked the illegal weed...oooohhhh, we're such bad people!
Get a life!
Anyway, as we mellowed...Donny said: "Make a wish and push the button!"
"You remember Reagan and the red button?"
"Yeah, 'bout the Russians?"
"Yep, and I would wish for all stupid, worthless pieces of shit in the world,
would just...go away.
They are not needed in our world or lives...
They are selfish, inconsiderate people who waste precious resources we
need, and endanger our lives!"
#
Donny: "Man, YOU're a cold motherfucker!"
"What? Like it's my fault people are stupid! Straight up, we're all evolved
people here. If any of us was stupid, do YOU think we would be friends?"
They all shook their heads (no)...
"And, if I or any of my friends or family disappeared, so be it...that just means
we're worthless shitheads that don't deserve to live...wouldn't YOU agree?"
Now, they nodded yes...
#
Spanky: "How many?"
"Eight billion people on earth...ohh, I'd say get rid of five, maybe six billion
people..."
"Just enough to keep civilization and the wheels progress turning. Maybe
start a new economic based on barter and work units."
Beto: "So, YOU've thought about this!"
"Oh, hell yeah!!!"
We all laughed, raised our cans, toasted each other and partyied hardy!
#
Somewhere around oh-dark-thirty, while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of
the Moon, I remembered the late futurist Alvin Toffler.
Author of 'Future Shock', wrote that any given time in history, about 90% of
humanity has their heads up their ass!
Seven-to-eight percent have their heads halfway out of their ass...
And, 2 - 3 percent breathe fresh air and know what the fuck is really going on!
I find this to be true!
Back in 2007 or so, a futurist whose name I forget, made a statement I'm
paraphrasing and agree with: "The planet could repair itself, if the human
population was 3/4's less, than what it is now...
He was ridiculed for telling the TRUTH!!!
I wish I could remember his name...
#
Then, I pushed the button...
#
If YOU're still here, reading this...then, YOU've been given a second chance!
Don't be a dumass, be kind to YOUR fellow being, do the right thing, all the
time, every time...no matter how much it hurts!
The powers that be, like that kinda stuff!
* * * * * * * *
So, what do YOU think?
Pls contact me at: roc411@21stCenturyFables.com and let me know YOUR
thoughts and opinions of this story.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOUR next fr*e eFable is a little more family-orientated:
I call it:
"Kissed By a Fairy - A True Story"
Back in the summer of 2004,
my nephew and I helped rescue an abused wife,
rescue a kidnapped infant baby and had the abusive husband and father
arrested, with the assistance of 911!
And, if that wasn't enough, I slipped into the in-between!
YOU know where I'm talking about...
The place adults say doesn't exist, but we know better, don't we?!
When I
